I need someone to talk to about my problems – but where do i turn? | betterhelp
There twlk a word that captures how talking helps—catharsis. Many times when we talk with a friend, a family member or a therapist, we are stuck. The client is then encouraged to talk to herself during the day by repeating these statements. She started her story with her pregnancy and took me a step at a time through the life of her son. I did nothing but listen.
My eyes were focused on her and her feelings became my feelings. Frequently, what has happened to us cannot be changed, such as when cann we love dies, a tragic accident occurs or we have learned we have a terrible illness. When these experiences descend upon us, we feel emotionally frozen.
What to do when you need someone to talk to
A solution pops into our mind. I have many stories of how people benefit from talking, but the story that follows is one I will never forget. Old thoughts that are counterproductive are erased and new thoughts that are positive and constructive are entered into the mind. Very often, they are surprised how they suddenly think of how to solve the problem.
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The charged feelings within us become less charged. Audio CD.
Since I am a psychologist, it is obvious to me how talking helps people. It is a lot like re-programming a computer. I listened. It is this experience of hearing ourselves that allows us at times to suddenly think of what to do. Focusing the attention on the somrone person in those moments can help us get past those awkward spots, she says.
Listening gives people an opportunity to tell their story, and, in the telling, they find relief and a quieting of their emotions.
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She researches how people navigate their social worldsincluding how language and mental capacity influences interactions. You get better at asking better questions, and answering with more interesting responses.
For the next two months, this mother arrived for her appointment each week. Research actually suggests that people who ask more questions are better liked by their conversation partners than people who ask fewer questions. Our fear assumptions fail to take into the social norms of politeness, Schroeder says. However, the benefits of talking are wheee apparent to many people.
There is a branch of psychology that believes behavior can be changed by changing the way we think. In my practice, I ask people a lot of questions to keep them talking about what troubles them so they might discover their own solution. Research shows the opposite, however, that people nearly always are willing to engage in a conversation when prompted by someone else.
But as we talk, we hear ourselves express feelings and information that have not been expressed before. She left my office and I have never seen her again, but her story stays with me. Talking le to a catharsis, which means a feeling of relief. At times I smiled with her and at times my eyes, like her eyes, were filled with tears.
Talking to someone about what's troubling you
Wherd le to new solutions Talking helps in other ways, too. Give someone a compliment It shifts the focus to the other person and should make them feel good, Sandstrom explains.
I could see the despair and grief she was feeling. At these times, we walk around feeling emotionally charged up and filled with tension.
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Talking helped her. She related that after a prolonged illness with cancer, her year-old son died.
The benefits of talking are not apparent to many people. At these times, talking can help. A question can either kick off a conversation or keep it going, Sandstrom says.
Need to talk?
Be curious Ask questions. The client is encouraged to take an inventory of the negative thoughts that pop into her mind throughout a normal day. Nothing has changed that caused the suffering in our lives, but talking has drained off some of the pain and this brings relief. Then the therapist and client together work out a series of positive statements to somene the negative statements.
We find ourselves stuck in a state of despair and pain.